I'm Not At Home, Where I Live

This is an old post that I wrote on June 29th, 2006. Obviously in 6 months time much has happened, and this is slightly out of date, so I'll try to make a few corrections and edits in italics.

This has been a very eventful year for me, in terms of all of the aspects of my life. Since the literal new year, I have given my group of friends a proverbial F*** you and didn't hang out with them at all, joined a new team - that being Mock Trial, attempted valiantly to run Model UN in my term as a member of the exec board despite inner-club problems, gone to visit Boston University, taken my first AP test, gone to Prom, regained my group of friends for whatever reason, lost that group of friends over after my second BU trip, over completely asinine excuses for reasons -- the laundry list goes on. Through all of this, I think I've remained grounded in my beliefs and values, at least to some extent.

The longer I am in high school, the more I grow to resent it. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be the other way around, leaving senior year missing the school and the people, and then wanting to visit. That's the polar opposite of what I'm feeling. Through all of the craziness of last year, and all of the fun and no so fun experiences, one thing has remained constant; the rocky relationship I have with people around here.

I don't think I'm a social recluse, and I certainly don't confine myself inside to study all of the time, but many of the people in my life are almost not worth it. I'm not saying that I hate everyone and want to go die or something, but I've come to realize that bit after being in a totally different environment, multiple times now this year. And at the moment, it's not like I deal with the people that I "resent," but rather, I just don't hang out with people. For whatever reason, it's school, clubs, and nothing else this year. Even over break, I've been home since Tuesday and haven't seen anyone yet.

The first of those environments is my visit to Boston University. Not only did I get to see once again a long time friend, but I got to see a different kind of people. There was drama, but it wasn't as ridiculously stupid as things are in Libertyville. I met many really cool people there, and just loved the place. Or did I really love Boston University as much as I loved the experience of being away from Libertyville in the college setting?

The second of these is MUNI. I was always grounded to people that I knew and may or may not have liked from high school, but my committee consisted of mostly people that were not people I knew, and the one I did know, I didn't talk to hardly at all. Through this, I met three really cool people that I kept in contact with long after the conference. And I was only with them for around 3 days of committee.

The third of these environments is Mock Trial Academy. In this experience, it was a 11 full days away from the angst and stupidity of Libertyville. Granted, I talked to people in Libertyville, but briefly. I met an insane amount of people that I wish I could see on a weekly, if not daily basis, from all around the country in this semi-college-esque setting. I also became almost a different person on some levels. I played Ultimate Frisbee, almost daily, which is something that I would never dream of doing at home, had I not done this at camp. Prior to camp, Ultimate was just a good way to get out of running in gym. Now, it's probably something I consider to be one of the most entertaining physical activities out there. Not only that, I found girls much easier to talk to and to connect with on some level. Back "home" this is a near impossibility. Everyone has their impressions of people and stereotypes and it's very rare for me to be able to break those and develop a good friendship or a relationship beyond that.

I came back home under the impression that, yes, I would miss camp and the people I met there, but I would have plenty to do with my friends, since they were ranting and raving about "doing stuff when I get back" when they called me at camp.

Now, I just feel like everything is way too difficult to deal with around here. Friends are impossible to motivate to do anything, and there aren't enough options of people to hang out with, because they're all uniform in their apathy and laziness. I don't connect on the same level with them that I do with my friends from Mock Trial, Model UN, and other past friendships I have. I can't rely on them for advice about things, I don't sit up talking to them until 4:15 in the morning. And in fact, the bullshit escalated to the point where they basically told me to go "fuck off" RIGHT before school started -- haven't hung out with or talked to (outside of a strictly professional basis) any of the bastards since then.

Instead of being home, I couldn't feel farther from home right now. All I can think about is how pointless it is to actually even bother calling people, because they are too busy with the shit that they do - combine that with their apathy - to hang out. Next year is going to be a rough year, with 3-4 time consuming clubs, being a school newspaper editor again, and just having to get through 4 AP classes and probably 6 AP tests, I don't think that I'll be doing much hanging out in the little time away from school and clubs that I'l have... Quite depressing to think about. Oh well, college is only a year off. . . (8 months actually, only 5 of which are school).

Wildcat Football; An L-Ville Institution

For lack of something better to post; I wrote this 1.5 years ago as an interview peice for DOI. It was just a mock-up article to practice writing, but it's pretty funny.. I interviewed an imaginary football player who was acted out by Perry.

Every Friday, walking through the halls of Libertyville High School, one sees the recognizable cheerleaders and football players, both clad in their orange and black uniforms. The familiar battle cry of “Wildcat Football, YEAH!” can be heard, prior to each game night. Glancing at the stands during the games, one can see the body-painted, masses of orange. They are die-hard supporters. These people bleed black and orange.
Wildcat Football, an institution in Libertyville. The players know it. The coaches know it. The community knows it. The 2004 class 7A champs are back for more this year with their current record of 5-0.
Recently, the Wildcats were given a new field to play on, and star quarterback, Don Billingsly comments, “There’s not much you can do to make us better but it [the new field] makes us look even better!” This is Billingsly’s fourth year on the team, and he has received a full-ride football scholarship to Notre Dame next fall.
The community support for the football program is quite extent. Going to the games is not just an activity popular with the student body. Local shops close their doors early so they can make the 7:30 football games; it’s almost like Texas high school football. Some students even sacrifice their time in class to practice football. When Billingsly was questioned about his opinions on school, he replied, “There is only one school subject, and that’s Wildcat Football. Who needs education when you have football. I don’t go to class…”
Of course, there’s always a down side to every good thing, and that’s the alleged rampant steroid usage in the football program. In reply to questions of steroid use, Billingsly does not confirm or deny by his response, “Anything to get the edge.” He also comments about the safety of these banned substances, “If it doesn’t turn your piss blue, it’s okay.”
The Wildcats next game is against the great rival, the Stevenson Patriots, at 7:30 on Friday the 2nd of October.