iSuck: Debunking the Latest Mac Craze

Apple. Apple. Apple. That's all I hear nowadays. Between the court case between Apple Records and Apple Computer, between the ever present news of upgrades to iBooks and iPods, and even the stupid ads on TV about why "you'll love a Mac," I don't know where it will stop.

I know the debate between Mac and PC has been a long time running and it's old and tired. Once and for all, this needs to be stopped, and that's what I intend to do.

First of all, let me further discuss the Mac craze;

Steve Jobs and his crew of funny men are always concocting cute new commercials to coerce people into buying Mac product. First it was the Apple Switch ads, then it was the iPod ads, now it's these idiotic Mac>PC ads. This and this are my response to the Apple Switch crap. WTF is the response to the iPod ads. All I can say about Mac>PC ads is, why am I seeing the dude from "Ed" on my TV, and how much spin can you put on a commercial? Mac is clearly unrivaled in that regard.

Apple states on their website,
1. It just works.
So do PC's, unless you're an idiot and do stupid things to them like spill coffee all over the keyboard, or download virus-ridden files from questionable websites.

2. You can make amazing stuff.
Last time I checked, things like Photoshop, Flash MX, and Audacity worked on Windows XP. You can make some pretty damn cool, even "amazing" stuff with those programs and the thousands of other ones.

3. Design that turns heads.
Yeah, and PC's can be stylized in a cool way as well. Not only can you buy amazing looking PCs, but you can build your own PCs with custom cases and you can mod your own cases. With Mac, you can't exactly build them with custom cases, and I bet if you took apart a Mac it would cease to function. By the way, Falcon Northwest, Alienware, Velocity, and Dell XPS are some of the top gaming PC Manufacturers, and they create "designs that turn heads."

4. 114,000 Viruses? Not on a Mac.
Three words; AVG Free Antivirus. It's a trade off. If I knew how to make viruses, I would make them for Mac. Just to piss people off.

5. Next year's OS today.
Blah blah blah. Mac makes Widgets. They suck away your RAM and virtual memory like none other, kind of like having 30 quickstart programs on the toolbar next to your clock in Windows.

6. The latest Intel chips.
Intel? On Mac? Oh wait, fakeout. That's right... Intel's latest chips are on PCs too, first. And AMD, which is much less expensive, and 64 bit compatible and dual core compatible just like Intel.

7. Instant video chats.
How many of my friends have webcams? Oh right, none! And even if they did, how many people do I know have Macs. Like one, two tops, so this feature would be stupid.

8. More fun with photos.
Photoshop? What? And yeah, Picasa (free!) allows you to organize, print, edit, and share photos, very easily. All you need to download is Google Pack and you're legit.

9. One-click websites.
Great! Let's clutter the internet with more crapola on meaningless blogs and idiotic simplistic websites. Perfect.

10. Amazing podcasts.
Podcasting. Synonamous with crapping out audible words, almost as bad as myspace. All this is, is an outlet for uninlligent celebrities to share their innermost pathetic thoughts. Oh wait, this is available through iTunes, which happens to be on PCs as well.

11. Rock star tunemaking.
12. Hollywood-style movies.
I'll give Mac these two, Apple computers are good for editing music and movies. And that's.. about... it.

13. No hunting for drivers.
Plug 'n Play? What?

14. Awesome out of the box.
Weaksauce.

Let me just say that this issue of Mac Boot Camp on Pentium Duo computers allowing dual-booting into Windows XP is stupid. If I wanted a Mac, I would buy a Mac, I wouldn't buy a freaking Mac so I could run Windows. Not only that, games run on Windows. What could I do with a Mac anyways? What could anyone do with a Mac? The average person just uses a computer to upload their digital pictures, go on an instant messenger (such as Yahoo or AIM), browse the internet, word process, and listen to music. These things can be accomplished much easier on a PC, mainly because people are familiar witht he Windows interface, Yahoo/AIM are more compatible with Windows, and PC's are less restrictive in customization.

Whatever. Stupid Macs.