College Search: The Acronym Hunt

In a recent instant message conversation, I made a passing comment about college stuff and I discovered something. The college search/application process is basically nothing more than a clusterf### of acronym'ed words. Let's analyze this problem in a little scenario I like to call a "hypothetical situation."

When looking for a college, so one doesn't end up at CLC, the student involved must maintain a high GPA, score solidly on the PLAN, PSAT, ACT, SAT, SAT II, and even AP tests. Not only that, one must take into account carefully schools' acronyms so they do not become confused. For example U of I is actually UIUC and some acronym'ed schools are just ridiculously vague that no one would know them, such as UNM. University of New Mexico? Maybe... if New Mexico even has universities, that is. Not only do you have to figure out what college you want to attend, when applying, you must consider NCAA regulations, as well as, if you are a URM (underrepresented minority, no, I kid you not, that's legit.) If you want to go to a LAC or a different type of college you need to figure that out... not only that, you need to figure out ED or EA if you want to.

Basically, the proverbial college search can go take a flying F because if i read another post on collegeconfidential.com I'm going to reach through the computer and strangle some parents and eat their babies. Amen.

iSuck: Debunking the Latest Mac Craze

Apple. Apple. Apple. That's all I hear nowadays. Between the court case between Apple Records and Apple Computer, between the ever present news of upgrades to iBooks and iPods, and even the stupid ads on TV about why "you'll love a Mac," I don't know where it will stop.

I know the debate between Mac and PC has been a long time running and it's old and tired. Once and for all, this needs to be stopped, and that's what I intend to do.

First of all, let me further discuss the Mac craze;

Steve Jobs and his crew of funny men are always concocting cute new commercials to coerce people into buying Mac product. First it was the Apple Switch ads, then it was the iPod ads, now it's these idiotic Mac>PC ads. This and this are my response to the Apple Switch crap. WTF is the response to the iPod ads. All I can say about Mac>PC ads is, why am I seeing the dude from "Ed" on my TV, and how much spin can you put on a commercial? Mac is clearly unrivaled in that regard.

Apple states on their website,
1. It just works.
So do PC's, unless you're an idiot and do stupid things to them like spill coffee all over the keyboard, or download virus-ridden files from questionable websites.

2. You can make amazing stuff.
Last time I checked, things like Photoshop, Flash MX, and Audacity worked on Windows XP. You can make some pretty damn cool, even "amazing" stuff with those programs and the thousands of other ones.

3. Design that turns heads.
Yeah, and PC's can be stylized in a cool way as well. Not only can you buy amazing looking PCs, but you can build your own PCs with custom cases and you can mod your own cases. With Mac, you can't exactly build them with custom cases, and I bet if you took apart a Mac it would cease to function. By the way, Falcon Northwest, Alienware, Velocity, and Dell XPS are some of the top gaming PC Manufacturers, and they create "designs that turn heads."

4. 114,000 Viruses? Not on a Mac.
Three words; AVG Free Antivirus. It's a trade off. If I knew how to make viruses, I would make them for Mac. Just to piss people off.

5. Next year's OS today.
Blah blah blah. Mac makes Widgets. They suck away your RAM and virtual memory like none other, kind of like having 30 quickstart programs on the toolbar next to your clock in Windows.

6. The latest Intel chips.
Intel? On Mac? Oh wait, fakeout. That's right... Intel's latest chips are on PCs too, first. And AMD, which is much less expensive, and 64 bit compatible and dual core compatible just like Intel.

7. Instant video chats.
How many of my friends have webcams? Oh right, none! And even if they did, how many people do I know have Macs. Like one, two tops, so this feature would be stupid.

8. More fun with photos.
Photoshop? What? And yeah, Picasa (free!) allows you to organize, print, edit, and share photos, very easily. All you need to download is Google Pack and you're legit.

9. One-click websites.
Great! Let's clutter the internet with more crapola on meaningless blogs and idiotic simplistic websites. Perfect.

10. Amazing podcasts.
Podcasting. Synonamous with crapping out audible words, almost as bad as myspace. All this is, is an outlet for uninlligent celebrities to share their innermost pathetic thoughts. Oh wait, this is available through iTunes, which happens to be on PCs as well.

11. Rock star tunemaking.
12. Hollywood-style movies.
I'll give Mac these two, Apple computers are good for editing music and movies. And that's.. about... it.

13. No hunting for drivers.
Plug 'n Play? What?

14. Awesome out of the box.
Weaksauce.

Let me just say that this issue of Mac Boot Camp on Pentium Duo computers allowing dual-booting into Windows XP is stupid. If I wanted a Mac, I would buy a Mac, I wouldn't buy a freaking Mac so I could run Windows. Not only that, games run on Windows. What could I do with a Mac anyways? What could anyone do with a Mac? The average person just uses a computer to upload their digital pictures, go on an instant messenger (such as Yahoo or AIM), browse the internet, word process, and listen to music. These things can be accomplished much easier on a PC, mainly because people are familiar witht he Windows interface, Yahoo/AIM are more compatible with Windows, and PC's are less restrictive in customization.

Whatever. Stupid Macs.

Late Night TV is the Shit

Ever watch a DVD until like 12:15-1:00ish and just... not really feel like going to sleep, but too tired to go online or something? Well, then you're in store for a real treat... flip that DVD player off, don't worry, it's worth the energy of picking up the remote, and tune in to your cable TV channels. Now, my friends, let me take you on a journey of late-night TV, and the top reasons why it is absolutely better than any of that primetime crap they feed you day in and day out.

1. Commercials. The bane of my existance. During regular hours of television, one might watch a prime time show such as Desperate Housewives which markets itself as "an hour long," however, with these dastardly commercials, it is a lot closer to 45 minutes. That is a quarter of an hour where you are being fed advertisements for shit you don't need, often repeatedly. Fifteen minutes or more of commercials during your TV watching experience just for that one show - that's a solid minute of commercials for every three minutes of TV. Ever wonder why it seems like there are so many damn commercials during Prime Time shows? Because there are. This can be especially pesky during movies on TV, but on late night TV, however, there are a lot less commercials, especially if you're watching a movie on one of those channels like TNT or TBS.

2. Late Night FCC Regs. Well, I attempted to do some research on this, but the Man (the FCC in this case) was trying to keep me down apparently, and thus I was unable to find anything in terms of proof on this one. Anyways - on late night TV, the regulations on content are significantly less than regular times during the day. Now, this is extremely good for movies, because many good R-rated movies just aren't the same without the language, violence, and the other "less than savory" aspects of them. I can't exactly confirm this, but I watched a movie last night and not only did I see a certain scene with nudity in it (on TV, mind you, it was shocking) but also I heard a few F-bombs that were dropped. I would hope that's proof enough, so use this to your advantage next time you see a classic R-rated film on late night TV... don't worry, it will be complete with all of the violent, expletive glory.

3. Damn good movies. The movies on late-night are pretty satisfying when you've just previously watched a movie, but aren't quite tired. Granted, they aren't going to win any Oscars, but they aren't so bad. Often times, these fall into the category of cult classic or "so bad they're good/entertaining/funny." Unless you're a hardcore film snob, you can sit back in this vegetative sleep-deprived state, stare at the TV with your glazed over eyes, and appreciate these for what they are; entertainment.

4. Infomercials. Because who doesn't want something that slices, dices, and is 17 tools in one? These little wonders are interesting to watch, especially if you're an insomniac. Usually they feature something ridiculously fascinating, until common sense kicks in and you realize that yes, this is a cheap plastic, worthless peice of shit. (It's wise to hide your credit cards before you indulge in such a thing as this... If you're a compulsive-buyer, that is.) The best part is when they have really terrible actors or washed up celebrities that are endorsing the product. (Or if the before/after shots are clearly different people - they thought they could fool innocent insomniacs with their scheming tactics...

5. more... later.