What About All of the Good Things Hitler Did?

So, I was having a conversation with someone today, and I realized something. There are lot of freaking idiots out there with many different f**ked up ideologies. Now, I'm not here to say that your beliefs in whatever religious doctrine are wrong (well.. maybe I am, we'll save that for later) but I mean, as the title of this article implies, clearly, this is among those stupid ideologies. Instead of my normal, typical entry, I will make another attempt at satire as the one I did for English Lit Honors was apparently a total failure. And with that;

Freaking Idiots, You Can't Live With Them, You Can't (Legally) Kill Them

Everyone has encountered a person that can be deemed a "freaking idiot" at least once or twice in their life, if they're lucky. If they're unlucky, then they encounter these people maybe once or twice a week, or if they are ultra-lucky, once or twice a day.

What is a "freaking idiot," exactly? Well, glad the question was posed. This type of person is usually of the know-it-all status, meaning, they claim to know every bit of information in the world, even on topics they don't even begin to comprehend. These people can be of all ages, and arrogance plays a huge factor into this, but usually they are of high school age, in the teenage years. At times, they try to flex their intellectual muscle by offering up seemingly intelligent bits of information, strung together in a looseleaf packet of facts, but often times there is a line of very bad logic behind these tidbits. Often this logic can lead to an ideology that they claim to believe in because it seems smart from their perspective.

In my experience, this logic can range from anything like "Stalin was a great guy, believe me" to "No, believe me, Area 51 does really house alien spacecraft, I saw it on Google Earth." Regardless, these people do not belong in our society, they need to be dealt with efficiently and expediently.

I propose that we ship these people off to some planet 100s of light years away in a long-term cryogenic hibernation tank, in a different galaxy even. This would serve to do a few different things. First and foremost, it would get these Godforsaken life forms that do not deserve to be called human beings off of the planet, away from everyone else, to prevent cross-breeding between them and normal people, and preventy corruption of the souls of the children of the future.

Not only that, it would put to use that lovely thing in America that we call the NASA program, because God-knows, sending rovers to Mars is extremely productive, but I think we can put that aside for a more noble cause; this one. In addition to this, being hundreds of light years away, our generation, nor our kids generation will have to deal with any issues, because they will be asleep the entire time. An added benefit to this, most current cryo tech does not work, so with any luck, these people will all die before they reach Planet R (R, for Retarded).

On the off chance that anyone does survive, or at least a male and female couple, due to charted chemical and biological reactions, any mating done between these parties will yield a child completely unaffected by this ailment of stupidity. Research shows that because the "freaking idiot" genes appear on both the X and Y chromosomes from the female and male, the traits will ultimately cancel each out, producing a potentially intellectual life form. In this case, the planet will be populated by an intelligent sentient race of human beings (yes, the production of two "freaking idiots" mating, leads to the reacquiring of the term "human beings") and the process of interstellar imperialism has successfully begun.