A Tale of Two Mountains

Well, this website is long overdue for an update. Two weeks is far too long, but I've had a lot of stuff in between the 24th and now - Mock Trial, for one. Good times..

In regards to my title, it would be a grave injustice to call Alpine a "mountain" so I guess I amend my title to "A Tale of a Mountain Range and a Landfill." But anyways, I'm here to tell you a story of my trip to Alpine Ski "Resort." I headed up to Alpine on the 26th (yay, post-Turnabout day! oh wait. F*** that.) On this particular trip, I was accompanied by my dad, and the ensuing story is sprinkled with his comments during the day.

First of all, let me say that Alpine falls quite short of being a "resort" and the name is one heck of a misnomer. It's more like a glorified land-fill with fake, icy snow on it. And the board park is nothing to smile about, I went sideways off a jump at one point to discover the true icyness of the ground alongside of it. To quote myself, "this isn't a mountain, this is a travesty."

The particular day I went, it was like, freaking Polish day or something. There were so many eastern europeans there, it was unbelievable. In the words of Mike, "This is like the eastern bloc." (Which was, of course, repeated many times.)

I'm a snowboarder and a skier, so I know both sides of the story. You know- 'snowboarders are evil, they cut off skiers, and blah blah.' Well, that may be true in the Rockies. But, however, in the hallowed hills if Wisconsin, it's the inexperienced jackass skiers that cause the problems. I was snowboarding, minding my own business, and was cut off about 7 times throughout the course of the day. Not one of these people were snowboarders. They were all sucky, horrible skiers.

That brings me to another thing. People who suck at skiing are FUNNY. Wow, I saw more yardsales (for those of you, not in the know, it means when you fall less than gracefully and lose your skis/poles/etc) than I've ever seen before. Quite classic, actually. Oh yeah, and the people who SUCK at getting on and off the chairlift. COME ON PEOPLE, it's REALLY not that hard, I managed to do it successfully without falling or f***ing up 17 times, and I haven't snowboarded in 3 years! If people sucked that much in Colorado, they'd be shot.

I really miss the mountains and skiing. Maybe one of these years I'll go back for spring break, or for Christmas. I can hope, I guess. I'll just envy those who do until that day arrives. And maybe take a few more trips up to the proverbial "eastern bloc" with all the people who can't ski.